


The Fire Inside

by labct1



Category: Adam Lambert (Musician)
Genre: Lambski, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-09-05
Updated: 2011-09-05
Packaged: 2017-10-23 11:18:27
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 14,018
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/249734
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/labct1/pseuds/labct1
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>This story takes place between Paris until Sauli leaves LA after Adam's birthday.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Fire Inside

**Author's Note:**

> This is the 2nd Lambski fic I wrote. I haven't corrected anything since I first posted it and nothing has changed. A few people asked that I post some of my old fics here. It's so weird to read it again. I'd change a ton of things if I were writing this now. LOL

Adam watches the video, a bittersweet, sad smile playing on his lips. Sauli looks as sad as Adam feels. The video was done a few days after he last saw him in Paris and it’s ridiculous how much time Adam spends thinking about him. He remembers Sauli warning him a Finnish magazine had an article about them after their Paris trip and he even emailed him with some links so Adam could see for himself. Sauli also assured him he wouldn’t say anything but he didn’t really know him very well, and it wouldn’t be the first time a guy showed what Adam considered private pictures to the world. Luckily for him, he knows better than to take pictures during sex, or even partially clothed, so there hasn’t been anything incriminating. But still it hurts to think some took something very personal and shared it with others so they could brag they were with a celebrity.  Still, it's been almost a month and there's been no word of it so Sauli must not have said anything. 

He watches the first video of Sauli’s show after they met in Helsinki. He rewinds the part where Sauli says his name. He wishes he knew what was said. He could ask Sauli but that would be admitting he watches these videos of him and he’s not ready for that revelation. If he didn’t see the one right after Paris, he could convince himself Sauli would sell him out. But that video tells him more than words what Sauli’s “intentions” are. Sauli has that sad look on his face, and his eyes don’t twinkle like they normally do which tells Adam Sauli misses him just as much. Deep down he doesn’t think he’s mistaken that he can trust him but it’s not easy letting go of the protective wall he’s put up since Idol ended. He can’t believe the US press or his fans haven’t picked up on the fact that he was in Paris with Sauli. All hell would break loose if that happened. He’s not sure how they will keep it quiet when Sauli comes to visit in a couple of days. It’s a discussion they will need to have if they are going to try to move this affair they are having into a relationship of some kind. 

He decides to send Sauli a text just because…

 _I miss you_ he says simply. Sauli’s like a ray of sunshine in his life. He always feels better when he talks to him, or spends time with him.

He waits for an answering text but maybe Sauli’s still sleeping. It’s only nine in the morning over there and Sauli did mention he was going out last night. He stares at his phone for fifteen minutes before giving up and heading to bed. He grabs his laptop, knowing he’ll end up restless and watching the videos over and over again. He’s watched them so many times already you’d think he’d be an expert speaking Finnish.

His phone buzzes and he smiles because it’s Sauli’s ringtone. 

“Hey,” Adam says, settling against the pillows.

"Hello,” Sauli says and Adam is already feeling better. “Sorry I was in the shower when you texted me,” Sauli says and Adam closes his eyes on the mental image that conjures up.

“Has anyone found out I’m coming for a visit yet?” Sauli asks bringing Adam back to the present. 

“I haven’t seen anything. Twitter isn’t even saying anything, and trust me, my fans would devour the news if they knew.”

Sauli laughs but Adam doesn’t think he understands how intense his fans can be. They’ve scared more than one guy off and he doesn’t even want to remember what they did to poor Drake. 

“To steal a line from one of my favorite people, ‘I’m not skeered’”, Sauli says and Adam can hear the teasing note in his voice.

“So I’m one of your favorite people?” Adam asks and settles down deeper into the pillows.

“As if you didn’t already know that.  Didn’t Paris give you a little hint?”

“Yeah. Yeah, it did. I can’t wait to see you,” Adam says on a sigh.

“Me too. I can’t believe it’s only two days,” Sauli says.

“I promise we won’t spend all our time in bed. Or on the floor. Or against the wall,” Adam’s voice takes on a husky tone.

“Or in the shower,” Sauli offers.

“Hmmm. Speaking of which, are you still naked from your shower?” Adam asks, secretly hoping the answer is yes.

“Not totally,” Sauli answers and then he laughs. That’s the same laugh that turns Adam’s insides to mush. “Turn on Skype and I’ll show you,” Sauli says and there’s no laughing tone to his voice now.

“Turning it on as we speak,” Adam answers and a couple of minutes later he sees Sauli’s face smiling at him and he knows he’s smiling too.

“Hi beautiful,” Sauli says softly.

Adam smiles and he wishes he could kiss those lips. Sauli has a way of making him feel so good about himself.   It probably means something that Adam didn’t check his appearance in the mirror before signing on, not caring if his hair isn’t perfect, or that he doesn’t have any foundation on to hide his acne scars. 

“Hi gorgeous,” Adam responds and they spend the next minute like they always do when they first get on Skype, they giggle and smile at each other.

“So, you wanted to know what I was wearing,” Sauli says and he stands up from his bed and steps back so Adam can see the tight, red underwear. 

“Mmmm. Very nice,” Adam murmurs and he can feel his own start to get tight as he watches Sauli turn around and pose. “Baby, you have the most amazing body,” Adam says because it’s true. He’s toned, with a very nicely curved ass and strong lean legs. 

Sauli rewards him by slowly lowering his underwear and running his hand over his ass cheeks. He looks at the camera over his shoulder and Adam licks his lips. “Just for that, I’m going to give you a show,” Sauli says. 

Adam watches him slowly run his hands over his body, his back still to the camera. Adam can tell from the movement, Sauli’s touching himself. He can see the way the underwear is pulling tight against his body. 

“Baby, turn around,” Adam begs.

Sauli turns around and Adam watches the way his hand moves inside his shorts.   It makes his mouth water and his breath hitch. Adam lifts his eyes to look at Sauli’s face. His eyes are closed and his mouth is slightly open, his tongue darting out to lick the corner of it. Adam reaches underneath the sheets to palm himself while he watches Sauli. 

He's so fucking gorgeous and Adam squeezes his cock as he watches Sauli on the screen.

* * *

“I wish you were here,” Sauli says and he’s never meant anything more in his life. 

He wishes he could see Adam sprawled out on the bed, watch the desire flood his eyes, while he watches him. He’s never been with anyone like him, someone whose whole being is sensual, sexual.   There are times, the first night, that time in Germany and that amazing night in Paris when Sauli thought the fire would consume him. They get near each other and sparks fly. Lots of hot, sizzling sparks and Sauli has never felt this consuming need before. It’s intoxicating, exhilarating and downright terrifying. 

Just thinking about Adam lying naked on his bed is turning him on so much.

“Pull them down,” he hears Adam’s low voice through the computer speaker and he looks up at the screen. He sees his own wants and desires mirrored in Adam’s eyes.

“One second,” Sauli says and he positions himself and the computer until he thinks Adam has the best view. He quickly gets some lube and strips off his underwear and spreads his legs wide, planting his feet on the edge of the desk. He hears Adam groan. 

“I wish you were here so it was your hand doing this,” he whispers. He closes his eyes as he sucks on his fingers before lowering his hand and playing with his hole. He can feel it contract at the first touch. “Can you see it? Can you see how much I want you? How much I wish it was your finger sliding inside?” Sauli moans as he plays with himself, sliding one finger in slow and shallow before slipping it back out. 

“Fuck baby,” Adam says and Sauli opens his eyes to look at the screen. He can’t see what Adam is doing under the covers but he has that same look on his face that he has when they have sex. 

Sauli pours some lube on his fingers and slides his fingers down again. It’s easier now and his finger slides inside while his knees fall open further. He wants to lay his head on the back of the chair and give himself up to the feeling but more than that he wants to see Adam’s face. He wants to watch Adam watch him. 

“That’s it. Slide it all the way inside,” Adam coaxes and Sauli does as he commands. He always does what Adam asks. “Twist it, baby.” Sauli does and he gasps at the sensation. 

He uses his other hand to grab the lube and he pours some on his cock. He grips it tight and starts to stroke it, while his finger slides in and out. He looks down and watches the head slide in and out of his palm, disappearing and reappearing with every stroke.

“You like that don’t you? You like it when I have my fingers in your ass and my hand around your cock.   You like it better when it’s my mouth. It’s wet and hot and the sound you make when my tongue strokes underneath makes my cock throb.   Make me throb Sauli,” Adam whispers in his low, deep voice. The one that makes Sauli’s skin quiver with anticipation.

Sauli can’t stop the noises that escape. They’re almost inhuman, animal sounds, primal with need and want. He grips his cock tighter and stares into Adam’s face. He’s so damn sexy and his hand involuntarily squeezes his cock tight. He watches Adam suck his fingers before they disappear again.

“I want to come together,” Sauli says and he watches Adam’s nostrils flare and he hears the hitch in Adam’s breath. He wishes they were together so he could hear it in his ear.

He slides a second finger inside and gasps at the feeling. He recognizes the signs in Adam’s breathing that tells him he’s close. He can’t stop his hips from thrusting up making his fingers slide in deeper. “Yeah, just like that,” he whispers, his mind picturing Adam’s hands on him, in him. 

“Sauli,” he hears Adam say his name on a groan and he watches the screen as Adam’s eyes close. He can see the muscles in Adam’s face tighten before his jaw relaxes and his mouth drops open, a moan escaping from his lips.  

His own orgasm hits as he watches Adam’s face. He tries to keep his eyes open, to let Adam see everything but the feelings are too powerful and they close when he feels his semen hit his fingers and splash on his chest. He removes his fingers and rubs his balls while he squeezes the last drop out.   He shudders and lays his head back, trying to catch his breath. His arms fall to the sides and he drops his legs to the floor, helpless to hold them up any longer. 

He turns his head and looks at the computer screen to see Adam relaxed and smiling at him. That smile, the one that’s only for him, makes him feel like Adam has opened up his soul, split it wide open and then flashed a warm, bright light on it.   He returns his smile, and they lay there for a minute, doing nothing but stare at each other. 

“You’re incredible Sauli,” Adam says. “You,” Adam stops and looks away. 

Sauli thinks this is the first time Adam’s ever seemed at a loss for words. If he didn’t know any better, he would think he’s nervous. It makes him wish he could wrap his hands around him and hold him close.

“I what?” he asks softly.

Adam looks back at the screen. “You mean a lot to me,” he says softly. 

Sauli watches Adam’s face and he can’t stop the smile that spreads. It’s the first time Adam’s said anything like that to him and he’s glad to know he’s not alone. They’ve never talked about their feelings for each other outside of saying they miss each other or how much they turn each other on. But real emotions are not something they’ve mentioned. 

“You mean a lot to me too,” Sauli returns and he watches Adam’s eyes light up and it makes him feel like he could conquer the world. “Two more days,” he says softly.

“I can’t wait,” Adam says. Sauli watches him bite his bottom lip and then Adam says, “We need to have a real heart to heart talk when you’re here.”

“I know,” Sauli responds softly. “You can tell me what you want and then we can compare notes.”

“Compare notes,” Adam says and he laughs. “You make me laugh. Sorry I made you have to take another shower.”

“You, my gorgeous sexy lover, are well worth it,” Sauli says. He leans forward in his chair. “Is it silly to want to kiss the computer screen?” he asks.

He watches Adam lean close to his screen. His face is huge and it makes Sauli laugh. “Then I guess I’m silly too,” Adam says and Sauli watches him pucker his lips and close his eyes.

He does the same and imagines Adam’s lips right there. So good is his imagination, he’s almost jolted when he feels the hard, cold glass against his lips.

“Good night,” Adam whispers afterwards.

“Good morning,” Sauli says and he watches Adam smile. 

* * *

One more day, Adam thinks the following afternoon, and Sauli will finally be in Los Angeles. He’s excited but nervous too. There’s so much to discuss.   They need to either move forward or call an end to their affair. The last thought puts a frown on his face. He doesn’t want to end it but he’s not sure how they can make it work, how they can even date, when Sauli lives half a world away. But, it’s telling that Adam got more turned on watching Sauli on his computer than he did over dinner with that actor the other night. That’s something else they need to discuss. He has no idea if Sauli is seeing someone else. Adam’s been on a few dates since he got back but he ends up spending the evening comparing them to Sauli and they always come up way short. 

Adam knew the first time he saw Sauli laugh and his eyes sparkle that he could be trouble. He knew it when he couldn’t stop his fingers from dialing his number the day he left Helsinki. Or when he asked him to meet him in Germany and then Paris. Adam sighs thinking about Paris. It was the most romantic trip Adam’s ever had. It’s where he learned about Sauli’s family and his friends. It’s where he talked openly, for the first time with anyone, about how lonely life on the road was and how much he was looking forward to being home.   Yet, when the time came to leave, Adam was sad and he could tell Sauli was too. 

They didn’t make any promises to each other although they did say they would stay in touch. The first time they talked after Paris was the most awkward conversation they ever had. There were small pockets of silence when neither knew what to say and it seemed forced. When the call ended, Adam figured it was the last call they would have until five minutes later when Sauli called back and said, “let’s try that again.” Adam still laughs thinking about that second call. When a couple of weeks went by and they spent as much time talking on the phone as they did before, Adam asked Sauli to come for a visit. It was a spur of the moment thing but Sauli seemed as excited about seeing him as he was about seeing Sauli. They started using Skype to talk and now Adam spends his time wondering when he’ll get to talk to him again.

Thinking back, it’s funny that they discussed a lot of things but they didn’t discuss their relationship. But it’s time, past time really, that they do just that.  Adam looks at the clock. 

One more day.

* * *

After sending a quick text to let Adam know he landed safely, Sauli grabs his carryon bag and heads off the plane with the other passengers. He smiles when he sees the man holding a sign with his name on it. They walk to the car and Sauli stares up at all the palm trees. He can't believe he's finally in Los Angeles.

"Is this your first trip to LA?" the man asks when they're on the road.

"Yes. I'm very excited," he gushes. He lowers the window and looks outside. He doesn't want to miss anything.

"Are you here on business or pleasure?" he asks.

"I'm visiting a friend," Sauli answers. "I'm only here for a few days."

"Where are you from? I don't recognize the accent."

"I'm from Finland," he answers and he smiles when he hears the man whistle.

"That's a long way away," he says.

Sauli sighs and looks back outside, his mood a little darker than before. "Yes it is."

"Maybe you'll even meet a celebrity or two," the man says and Sauli makes a noncommittal noise.

Sauli's met celebrities before. Well, maybe not international ones, but he's met plenty of Finnish ones and he was always disappointed. The ones he thought would be nice based on what he saw on TV turned out to be anything but when the cameras were off. He smiles remembering the first time he met Adam. He expected this in your face personality but it turns out, behind the make-up and the flashy clothes, was a really sweet, old fashioned guy. Adam is the nicest celebrity, maybe even person, he's ever met, and it's not because he's having an affair with him. It's the way he thanked each doormen at the hotels they stayed in, or asked the person who delivered their room service how their day was going and actually listened to their responses. Or the way he stopped and took a photo with the fan in Paris, first talking to him to put him at ease when it seemed the guy was going to hyperventilate when he recognized Adam, then shaking his hand before he left. It's the way he turns almost shy when he looks at Sauli after someone recognizes him, like he's worried it will bother him or annoy him if he stops to sign an autograph. It's nice that Adam's concerned about his feelings but he understands; he's been there himself although on a much smaller scale. Sauli sighs because if he really wanted to he could probably come up with a million different reasons why he feels the way he does.

He sinks back in his seat thinking about Adam and what this time together might bring. Will this be the last time he sees him? He hopes not but he doesn't have a clue what Adam wants from him. Adam could have anyone, why would he settle for someone who lives so far away? Sauli knows he's already in over his head. He can't eat, can't sleep, can't do anything except think of Adam. It's like a clichéd song. He knows he's going to get hurt, and badly, but there's nothing for it. His heart is telling him this is right, even while his logical mind is telling him there's no way this will work. If they lived closer it would be easier to see it happening, but he doesn't so he's decided to enjoy whatever time they have together and let things fall where they may.

He's jolted out of his thoughts when the car pulls up to a large, but not overly grand, two story house. The man gets out and helps Sauli with his bags.

"Here you go sir," he says and Sauli reaches in his pants to get him some money for a tip. "Oh, it's already been taken car of. Enjoy your stay," he says and Sauli shakes his hand.

"Thank you," he says.

He turns and walks up the front walkway and smiles when he sees Adam walk outside. His heart skips a beat, like it always does when he sees him. He suddenly feels anxious and nervous. He's about to say a greeting but Adam walks right up to him, takes his face in his hands and kisses him. Sauli drops his bags and wraps his arms around Adam's waist. This is why he doesn't want this to be the end and why he flew all this way. It's why he flew to Germany and Paris. Adam creates a fire inside of him. A burning need to be with him, only him. He wants to know all his secrets and share his own.

He opens his mouth wider and stands on his toes, pushing closer to Adam's body. Always moving closer. He thinks he would crawl inside of him if he could. He rubs his hands under Adam's shirt, and he gets a heady rush when he feels goose bumps. He moans in Adam's mouth, their tongues dueling and he feels Adam's hand cup the back of his head. He loves to feel Adam's hands on his face and the back of his head when they're kissing. He can't explain why. He just does.

Sauli lifts his arms to move them around Adam's neck and drags a hand through Adam's hair. He feels Adam's growl against his mouth before Sauli feels himself being lifted off the ground until his feet are dangling and they're at an even height. He lifts his legs and wraps them around Adam's waist.

He gasps for breath when Adam moves his mouth away to kiss along his cheek.

"It's about damn time," Adam says roughly.

Sauli nips Adam's ear. "Are we going to stand out here all day or are you going to take me inside?"

He licks at the spot below Adam's ear that always makes Adam shiver. Sauli smiles when Adam does just that. "I think that's my favorite spot on your body," he whispers and kisses it tenderly.

He feels Adam's hands rubbing his back before settling them under Sauli's ass. "Really? Then we don't need to get naked when we get inside?" Adam says. He lifts his head and looks Sauli in the face. "Hi," he says and leans down to place a quick kiss on his lips. "I missed you so much."

Sauli stares into Adam's eyes. He brings a hand to the front to cup Adam's cheek, his thumb tracing over Adam's bottom lip. "I missed you too."

They kiss again, without the desperation. It's long and slow and stirs his blood just as much.

"Come on. Let's get inside before the neighbors start taking video," Adam says laughing.

Sauli drops his feet and straightens out his pant legs. "It wouldn't be the first time I had video taken of me kissing a boy."

"Really? Do you have a secret sex tape out there?" Adam asks teasingly.

Sauli slaps his arm and chuckles. "No sex tape but when I was on Big Brother I kissed a couple of boys. They filmed it. They even showed a clip at the finale. So embarrassing."

"Should I be jealous?" Adam asks as he opens the door.

"No," Sauli laughs. He looks around. "This house is really nice," he says. It's very modern and sleek. He wonders what his father would think of it.

"Thanks. Do you want something to drink?" Adam asks.

"Sure but first I need to use the bathroom," Sauli answers.

"Down the hall to the left," Adam says.

* * *

Adam watches Sauli walk away. He thought his feelings would diminish somewhat, not having seen him in a few weeks, but he was wrong. It seems he's been wrong about a few things when it comes to him. He decides to take Sauli's bags upstairs to the bedroom. He places them on the floor by the closet and looks at the bed. He gets to sleep next to Sauli tonight. That thought shouldn't make him feel as happy as he does. It's only sleeping after all, but he remembers all too clearly how much Sauli likes to cuddle and touch while he sleeps and he can't help smiling at the memories.

He walks over to the window and leans his forehead against the frame. What is he going to do about him? The minute he saw Sauli climb out of the car he knew there was no way he's going to let him go. Not now. Not with the way he feels about him. He was fooling himself, trying to convince himself they could have a casual affair when his feelings for Sauli are anything but casual. He probably should have put a stop to it before Paris, but his heart wouldn't let him, and honestly he's glad. He wouldn't want to miss one conversation they've had since, not any of the laughs they've shared. Nor would he ever regret the time they spent there.

He's a little afraid of the feelings Sauli brings out. Even Drake didn't make him feel like this, maybe not even Brad. It's so easy to be with Sauli. There's no drama, no fighting. It's just laughter and happiness and Adam's never felt so comfortable with another man. He doesn't know what Sauli wants but he knows what he wants. It's simple really.

He hears Sauli behind him and turns around. He licks his lips when Sauli strips off his shirt. He's so fucking sexy. He can feel his cock start to stir and he strips off his own shirt. He doesn't even suck in his stomach, or try to shield himself in any way. Just knowing Sauli thinks he's sexy makes Adam believe he is. He cups Sauli's cheek and stares into his eyes. It feels different. More meaningful for some reason.

"Do you know this is the first time we'll actually sleep together outside of a hotel?" Sauli says and he turns his head to kiss Adam's palm.

"Yes," Adam replies.

He wants to say more. So much more but Sauli's standing shirtless in front of him and it's pretty hard to concentrate. He slides his hand down Sauli's chest, stopping to rub his nipples and watch his stomach muscles contract. His fingers trace the birds and then the tattoo down his arm. Sauli leans forward and rests his head against Adam's chest.

"I'm so happy you're here," Adam says and wraps his hands around Sauli's back. He kisses the top of Sauli's head.

He feels Sauli's lips on his bare skin, and then his fingers rubbing through his chest hair. Sauli lifts his head and starts walking backwards, pulling on the waist of Adam's pants to tug him along. Adam smiles as he follows him towards the bed and laughs when Sauli hops on it and tugs Adam down with him.

"Show me," Sauli whispers and then he pulls Adam's mouth down and desire takes over.

They roll around, kissing, rubbing their legs over each other. Their breathing gets harder and rougher, their hands tangling in their haste to strip each other of their pants. Adam gasps at the contact of skin on skin when they're finally naked. He reaches down and rubs his palm over Sauli, swallowing his moan. He rolls them so he's laying on top, his hand rubbing Sauli's side and ass, his leg rocking against Sauli's balls. He feels Sauli spread his legs and he moves until he's lying between them.

"Sauli," he whispers. "You feel so good," he says and he rubs his hips so his cock is sliding up and down Sauli's length. He feels Sauli's precome and his cock twitches. He lifts his head to look down at the two of them, rubbing against each other and sees Sauli doing the same thing.

"We look good together," he hears Sauli say and Adam nods his head in agreement. "Adam, please, it's been too long."

Adam knows what he means. He wants to take it slow and make it last but Sauli's right. It's been too long and there's no way Adam is going to last more than a few minutes. He leans down and takes Sauli's mouth in a deep, passionate kiss, until he feels Sauli's legs wrap around his waist and the lifting of his hips.

Adam rolls them over and reaches in the nightstand for the lube and condom. He watches Sauli pour some on Adam's fingers and Adam reaches down to find his hole. Sauli's breathing hard and he clenches his jaw when Adam slides a finger inside. He's not being as gentle as normal but he's helpless to this driving need to be inside Sauli.

"Fuck," he says when he slips two fingers inside him. He watches Sauli's head drop down and he's taken back but the scorching heat in those eyes.

"Now," Sauli says through his clenched lips. "I can't wait."

Adam looks down at Sauli's cock and sees the head is wet and throbbing. He almost loses it right then and there. He rips the condom open and he and Sauli work to get it on and then Sauli is sinking down.

"Give me a second," he says between pants and Adam uses every muscle in his body to stop from moving.

He pulls Sauli's head down and kisses him. "You're so sexy," he whispers and he hears Sauli's groan.

Sauli starts moving and Adam is losing his grip with reality. Sauli always makes him so desperate and needy. He lets Sauli set the pace but not for long because Adam isn't going to last. He closes his eyes and feels Sauli's breath on his face, his lips on his jaw. He grips Sauli's hips and starts thrusting into him and Sauli's moans make him want to be possess him.

He rolls them over and starts pounding into him - hard - fast - deep. The sound of slapping skin fills the air. "Look at me," he commands and Sauli snaps his eyes to Adam's face. There's sweat dripping down the sides of Sauli's face, his hair is damp, and his eyes have a wild look in them. Adam thinks he's the most gorgeous man he's ever seen. He watches Sauli's eyes darken when he reaches down and starts stroking him, matching the tempo of his hips.

"Shit, baby, I'm going to come," he says between breaths a few minutes later. He watches Sauli close his eyes and bite his lip. He feels his own muscles quiver and he holds himself deep inside Sauli when his orgasm hits. The last wave crashes and he feels Sauli's semen on his fingers and leans down and lays his head in the crook of Sauli's neck as he strokes him through the remaining tremors.

"That felt so good," Sauli says laughingly a few moments later and Adam smiles against his skin because, well because Sauli always makes him smile.

"Is that all you have to say?" Adam says chuckling. He lifts his fingers and licks them off before reaching down to caress Sauli's balls.

"That felt so fucking good?" Sauli says smiling.

"You're supposed to say 'Adam, that was the best sex I've ever had. You really are a sex god,'" Adam says teasingly.

"Adam that was the best sex I've had. You are my sex god," Sauli says instead and he lifts his head to give Adam a kiss.

"Hmmm. That works too," Adam says afterwards. "Let's get cleaned up and then you can eat, sleep, or whatever you want to do."

"I want to sleep. You wiped me out."

"Oh, poor baby." Adam leans down to give Sauli a little kiss but it turns into a long one when Sauli brings him closer and holds him tight.

He pulls back when he feels Sauli's chest muscles moving up and down. "What's so funny?" Sauli has the most beautiful look on his face. "You look radiant," Adam says softly, a hint of wonder in his voice. He watches Sauli smile wider.

"You make me feel that way," he says quietly, his eyes glowing.

Adam looks into those beautiful blue eyes.  He's humbled by how Sauli makes him feel and he knows somehow they need to find a way to make this work.

* * *

It's been a few days of secret dinners and meeting Adam's friends. Sauli was sure things would cool down but it seems he's more drawn to Adam than he's ever been. They can't sit next to each other without touching, or holding hands. Late at night, when it's just the two of them alone in bed, they have the most amazing, deep conversations about the world and the universe and their small place in it. Adam has some wonderful charity ideas he wants to focus on and Sauli is so proud to be with him.

"You're really a good person," he says one night. They're lying together, his back against Adam's chest. Adam has his arm around Sauli's waist and he's placing soft kisses on the back of Sauli's neck and his shoulders.

"Thank you. I think I am. It's funny. People have all these preconceived notions about me. I wish I could meet them and show them I'm just a normal guy."

"I admit I expected you to be this loud, show off guy and was surprised to find you were so nice."

"Really? You never told me that."

"After the show, I met some people and, honestly, they didn't live up to my expectations."

"I know. It's an eye opener isn't it? It's really quite sad in a way," Adam says quietly.

"Yes. It's rare to meet someone who turns out to be genuine and not hung up on themselves. You, my love, were the most pleasant surprise."

"My love," Adam whispers softly. "I like that."

Sauli doesn't respond and Adam seems content to let it pass at that. He closes his eyes and backs up closer to Adam. He feels so safe when they're like this. Safe and protected, and loved.

* * *

Adam can't sleep. Sauli's only here for a couple more days and they haven't talked about how to move forward. Based on the way Sauli acts, that's what he thinks Sauli wants too. He may not have said the words, but Adam sees it in the way he looks at him.

Adam's been thinking and he has a couple of ideas on how they can do that. He hopes Sauli will like them.

He walks to the kitchen to get a glass of water. He hears Sauli call his name.

"In the kitchen," he yells back.

"Are you okay?" Sauli asks.

"Yeah. I couldn't sleep." He watches Sauli yawn and stretch, the movement making Sauli's shorts ride a little lower on his hips.

"I woke up and you weren't there. Do you want some privacy?"

Adam smiles because that's one thing he loves about Sauli. He gives Adam space when he needs it. Wait, love? Did he really think that? He shakes his head.

"It's okay. I got up because I was tossing and turning and I didn't want to wake you."

"Would a massage help?" Sauli asks and Adam watches him walk closer.

"Maybe." Adam answers honestly. "It might help me relax."

"I know something that will help you relax," Sauli says and Adam watches him sink to his knees. "Maybe you can sleep after this."

Adam groans and rubs his hand over Sauli's head when Sauli licks him.

"There's only one way to find out," Adam teases. Damn, Sauli is so good at this.

"Oh, I have a feeling this will definitely relax you," Sauli says.

Adam laughs and looks down. "Sauli, didn't you learn your manners. It's not polite to talk with your mouth full."

Sauli's eyes take on a wicked gleam. "My mouth isn't full yet but it will be in a second."

Then he's sliding his mouth down Adam's length and Adam loses the ability to speak.

* * *

The following afternoon, Sauli looks at Adam and he's positive his face is showing the shock he feels. "You want me to translate the videos?"

Adam looks away and Sauli knows he's embarrassed. "Yes."

"Can I ask why?" he says blinking.

Sauli watches Adam stand up and walk to the fireplace. When he turns around, Adam has his hands in his pockets and a look on his face that Sauli's never seen before. - a little bit of defiance mixed with vulnerability. It breaks his heart.

"Look Sauli. I'm going to be brutally honest with you. I've had other guys I was interested in basically blab to the world that we were together. And I'm sorry but I want, maybe even need, to know what you are saying. Deep down I think I can trust you but it's a little scary for me based on past experiences."

Adam's honesty is one of the best qualities about him. Even if hearing the words make him uncomfortable. "You know you either trust someone or you don't. Even if I tell you word for word what I said it's not going to remove whatever doubts you might have."

Adam looks down. "I know. I know it's something I have to deal with if we are to move forward." Sauli watches Adam look back at him. "And this isn't some kind of pass or fail test."

Sauli sits there and tries to put himself in Adam's shoes. Frankly, he can see where he's coming from. "You know, after I won Big Brother, I had guys that I never would have stood a chance with before suddenly trying to get me into bed. I knew it wasn't me they wanted. It was the fame or the money, or who knows, maybe some status they were trying to achieve."

He watches relief spread on Adam's face. "Exactly. And, you're the first person since Drake that I feel wants to be with me because of who I am and not what I am. Drake ended up resenting my career but I feel like you could care less about what I do."

Sauli stands up to walk in front of Adam. He pulls Adam's hands out of his pockets and lightly holds them in his own. "It's kind of cute that you watch them when you don't know what we're saying."

Adam lets out a nervous chuckle. "Yeah, well. I was curious about you okay."

"Hmmm," Sauli hums out and leans forward to kiss Adam's neck and jaw. And the soft skin under his chin.

"It's probably the same reason I've watched every concert and interview you've done since we met."

"You have?"

"Yes. In fact, it's ridiculous how many of my favorites on You Tube are videos of yours."

"Really."

Sauli looks up into Adam's face and smile. "Yes, really. Now let's go watch the videos and I'll tell you what I'm saying."

"Thank you for understanding," Adam whispers and Sauli hugs him tight. He lays his cheek on Adam's chest and they rock back and forth for a minute.

"You're welcome," he answers.

He can imagine all the doubts going around in Adam's head. They're the same ones he had when he first starting dating after Big Brother. Maybe if they watch the videos together it will make Adam feel better.

* * *

Ten minutes later they're sitting on the couch, Adam's laptop on his knees.

"So Katri was saying how I had met you after your show and I was saying you were really nice and we talked for a long time."

"Talk? Is that what you call it?" Adam snorts.

Sauli elbows him in the side. "We did talk for a while. Although we did more not talking than talking."

Adam laughs and it makes Sauli laugh too. "We did more begging than talking."

"More moaning."

"Yeah, definitely more moaning," Adam says and he turns his head to capture Sauli's lips. He could kiss Sauli all day long.

"Stop distracting me," Sauli says. "Oh, then she said we talked about astrology and stuff and I told her we weren't going to get into details."

"You did?" Adam asks.

"Yes. I mean it's our business, right?" Sauli crosses his feet on the table in front of the couch. "Now pull up the next one."

Adam hits his favorites and pulls up the one after the pictures came out in the magazine. "I remember when you called to tell me the magazine had pictures of us."

"I couldn't believe it."

Adam smiles when he feels Sauli's foot rub against his. "Well, I'm not surprised. Cameras are everywhere."

"Yes, they are. Now, I will admit to being embarrassed and I didn't know what to say here."

"Is that why you hid under the counter?" Adam teases. Sauli looks so cute in this video.

"Yes. Anyway, I was saying nobody had any proof I kissed anyone and that you were holding my ears because it's a way of greeting in America."

"Very quick on your feet. You know nobody believed you."

Sauli shrugs and chuckles. "Probably not but I wasn't going to be the one to say anything."

"Why not?" Adam asks and Sauli looks at his face.

"It's just not me. Anyway, we were teasing each other about the picture and I said I couldn't even talk about what you were saying because I couldn't hear you."

Adam starts laughing. "You did not."

Sauli laughs too. "I did and then she got all embarrassed. It was quite funny actually."

They get to the Paris one. "I remember buying that hat for you in Paris."

"Yes. I was missing you and I thought it would make me feel closer to you."

"Is that why you look so sad? Because you were missing me?"

Sauli lays his head on Adam's arm. "Yes. I was miserable. I wasn't sure if I would see you again."

"You weren't the only one who was miserable."

Sauli looks into Adams face and Adam leans down to softly kiss him. They go through the video with Sauli explaining everything to him. He's so patient and Adam can't imagine anyone else doing this for him, just to help ease his mind.

"Now, this is probably my favorite one. I can't watch this and not laugh," Adam says as he pulls up the Christmas show. Sauli is giggling and laughing through the show, and he looks really hot in the red Santa hat.

"I was in such a good mood. I just bought tickets to come here a couple days before."

"You look really hot," Adam says and Sauli cracks up laughing.

"Maybe I should wear a Santa hat and nothing else for you one day," he teases and Adam puts the laptop down and pulls Sauli across his legs.

"You know it's funny. I watched a few of the clips from when you were on Big Brother."

"You did not!" Sauli says and playfully slaps his arms.

Adam laughs. "Yes. Loved your dancing. Anyway it dawned on me how much we have in common. I was on a reality show, same as you. I got really close to a cute straight boy, same as you. We had this epic bromance. I became disillusioned with celebrity, just like you. It's kind of ironic, the parallels our lives have taken?"

"I never thought of it like that but I guess you're right." Adam feels Sauli's hands move his hair away from his forehead. "Do you feel better?"

Adam runs his hands up and down Sauli's sides. "Yes. In fact, we need to talk but I can't concentrate when you're sitting on me like this."

"Like what," Sauli asks and he grinds his hips down.

"Stop it." Adam says and uses his hands to still Sauli. "I’m not having sex with you again until we talk."

"Fine," Sauli says and he climbs off. Adam watches as he takes a seat at the end of the couch, sitting cross legged, facing Adam. "Let's talk."

"Where do you see us going?" Adam asks bluntly.

Sauli stares at Adam for a minute before answering. "What I see and what I want are two different things."

Adam stares at Sauli. "Tell me what you want."

"I want to continue seeing you. I want more than an affair but I don't know how that would work. What do you want?"

Adam lays his head on the back of the couch and looks at Sauli. "I want you in my life. Have you been dating other people?" Adam suddenly asks and he can tell the question makes Sauli nervous.

He watches Sauli take a deep breath. "Yes, I have. Not much, but I'd be lying if I said I haven't dated anyone since we met. Have you?"

Adam has a moment of jealousy.  He shouldn't.  It's not like he's been staying home moping but he can't help it.  But more than that he feels relief because Sauli was honest with him and didn't try to lie.  "Yes. The question is do you want to keep seeing other people?"

Adam watches Sauli slowly shake his head. "No, I don't."

"Me neither," he answers and he takes a moment to bask in Sauli's smile. "So what do we do now?"

"I don't know Adam. It's frustrating for me. I feel like I finally found someone special and he lives half a world away. Honestly, I don't see how that works." Sauli's voice sounds so small and sad.

Adam takes a deep breath and looks away. Where they live is the only thing keeping them apart.

"Would you be willing to try to make it work?" he asks while he looks down and picks at his fingernails.

"More than anything," Sauli answers and Adam looks over at him. Sauli's staring at him with such an intense, serious look. "I'm scared of getting hurt. I'm scared of us getting closer and we find we can't make it work. But more than that, I'm scared of what I could lose by not even trying."

"I know what you mean. I feel the same way." Adam reaches out and grabs Sauli's hand. "I've been thinking. What if you could do your show from here for a few weeks, maybe stay a few months? You could bring Katri here and you can film some behind the scenes things in Hollywood. I'd even let you guys tour the house and interview me. Maybe I could get some of my friends to let you interview them too. Then, when I have to go to New York, you could go there and do some things from there. Do you think your boss would go for that?"

"I'm not sure," Sauli says but he's smiling and his face is almost glowing. It gives Adam a shot of confidence.

"What if I let you guys stay here, to cut down on the costs."

"I'd have to run it by them but I think it's very probable they'll go for it. Are you sure you want me staying with you for that long."

"Yes, I'm sure. I like you Sauli. As a person. Even if a relationship doesn't work out, you'll always be special to me. And this will give us time to actually date and get to know each other. Spend time together." He lets that sink in. "There's something else."

"What?" Sauli asks nervously.

"Can you stay a few more days? I want you to come to my birthday party."

Sauli beams and he scoots over to sit next to Adam. "You do?"

Adam smiles and kisses him. "Yes, I do. I know you're supposed to leave tomorrow but I'll pay to change your ticket. Ah, my parents will be there and they'll want to meet you. I'll understand if you aren't ready for that."

"I'd love to meet your family," Sauli assures him and Adam smiles softly and they share a look of hope and happiness.

"I want to take you to Disney. But, I have to warn you everyone will find out we're dating if we do that. God, Sauli, so much will change when people find out. You have no idea." He releases a breath and closes his eyes.

"Then tell me," Sauli says calmly.

"My fans will find every old picture of you," Adam starts.

"You know I made my Facebook private after Paris," Sauli says.

Adam laughs. "You don't know my fans. Trust me, that won't matter. They'll still find all the pictures."

"Adam, I was on Big Brother. There isn't much to hide when you're on that show."

Adam nods. "And Twitter. People will say awful things to you on that."

"But I don't have Twitter," Sauli responds.

"That's true. And the internet. God, the blogs…," Adam begins.

"I never read them. I didn't after the show why would I now?" Sauli asks and he sounds so sure of himself.

"You don't understand. You'll hear things and you'll be curious." Adam needs to get through to him how bad it will be.

"Adam, look at me. You're more important to me than what some strangers say. I don't care what anyone but you thinks."

"There will be cameras following us everywhere," Adam says, staring into Sauli's face. God, he's so handsome and he has the most gorgeous eyes. Adam feels like he could drown in them.

"I lived with cameras 24/7 on the show. What else?"

Adam laughs at the tone in Sauli's voice. He sounds like some boxer daring the other guy to give him his best shot. "There will be stories about me dating whatever guy I'm seen with."

Sauli laughs. "I trust you. If you tell me you're going out with friends, then you're going out with friends. I know you. You won't lie to me. If you find someone you're interested in, I'm sure you'll be honest with me." Adam watches Sauli's face and he can tell Sauli means what he says.

Adam is starting to feel confident that everything might be okay after all. Except for one last thing. "The Grammys are coming up," he starts and he carefully watches Sauli's face. "And I'm going to be really busy."

"How about I leave before you start your appearances so you can focus on your career and I'll go home and make plans."

"You won't be mad that I'm not taking you. I mean, it will be out we're dating and everyone will wonder," Adam says but he trails off.

"So, let them wonder. Adam, I don't expect you to take me to everything you have to go to. I understand it's your job. I know how this all works. I've been there. There isn't anything you can say that will scare me off."

"There isn't? Are you sure about that?"

"I'm sure. Try me?" Adam closes his eyes as Sauli starts kissing his neck.

"I think I'm falling in love with you," Adam says quietly.

He feels Sauli's lips stop and senses him lifting up his head. He could shoot himself. He's always moving things too fast, getting too intense when he's really interested in someone. But he's not lying. He watches Sauli's face light up, and sees his eyes go soft and Adam feels all the worry and nerves disappear.

"Really? That's good to know because I think I'm falling in love with you too."

"You are?" Adam asks a little shocked.

"Yes I am. So, did _I_ scare _you_?" Sauli asks but he's smiling and he doesn't look worried at all.

Adam smiles and leans in to kiss Sauli. "No," he whispers before capturing his lips. Maybe, just maybe, things will work out.

Adam wakes up to an empty bed. He rolls over and sees it's only a little after eight. Where is that gorgeous hunk of his? He gets up and puts on a pair of boxers before heading to use the bathroom. He stops outside when he hears Sauli whistling in the shower. He smiles when he recognizes the song. Sauli is such a kid sometimes. Adam uses the toilet. He would probably use the other one but the way the bathroom is set up, Sauli can't see him so he figures it's safe. He washes his hands and brushes his teeth and decides to watch the show.

Sauli is still whistling the song and Adam smiles listening to him. He watches Sauli's hands travel over his silhoutte and then to caress his ass. Adam isn't smiling anymore. Now he's turned on. He strips off his shorts and opens the shower door.

"If it isn't my sexy boyfriend," Adam says ducking his head under the water. He shakes his head and runs his hair through his hands.

"What do we have here?" Sauli teases and Adam shudders when Sauli strokes his erection.

"Just a little something for you."

Sauli's eyes twinkle and he laughs. "Adam, sweetie, have you looked down recently because little is not a word I would use to describe you."

Adam smiles and moves forward until Sauli is caged in. "What word would you use?"

Sauli looks down and Adam feels his fingers stroke over his head. He can feel himself getting harder.

"Monstrous. Astronomical. Grande….."

Adam uses a hand and pushes Sauli's head up until he's looking him in the eye. He sees Sauli on the verge of cracking up. "You're a one man comedian."

Sauli lifts his shoulders, "I try."

Adam can't help but laugh and then he kisses Sauli and it's awkward because Sauli keeps laughing and saying words in between kisses. "Magnifique." Another kiss. "Huge." A deeper kiss. "Enormous."

Finally Sauli's not laughing anymore and Adam kisses him long and passionately, all while Sauli's stroking him.

"Mine." Sauli whispers when they break apart.

A thrill courses through Adam's body at the thought of belonging only to Sauli.

Adam takes the soap and lathers his hands until they're covered in tiny bubbles. He turns Sauli around and steps in close. Close enough that his cock can slide against the crack of Sauli's ass. He reaches in front and grabs Sauli with both hands and starts stroking him. He squeezes his hands around Sauli's cock and thrusts his hips so he's rubbing along Sauli's ass.

"Inside," Sauli begs and Adam bites down on his shoulder.

"No condom." Adam replies on a moan.

It feels so good. Even if he's not inside, feeling Sauli's ass cheeks around his aching skin is making him hot. Scorching hot. He starts pushing his hips so that each forward movement causes Sauli's cock to slide through Adam's hands until Sauli is all but fucking his palms. Adam squeezes tight and he watches Sauli's head fall back. Sauli turns his head and Adam captures his lips, speeding up his hip movements until he feels Sauli's orgasm.

Adam stays with him until he feels the last of his semen then he grips his own cock and strokes it a couple of times until he comes on Sauli's lower back.

"You're going to kill me," Sauli says on a laugh.

"I think we're going to kill each other," Adam responds. He's still trying to catch his breath, but damn, he feels fantastic.

Sauli turns around and throws his arms around Adam's neck and Adam wraps his arms around Sauli's waist. They stand there, wrapped in each other's arms, hot water falling down on them, silly grins on their faces.

Adam starts singing softly and seriously the song Sauli was whistling:

 _When you wish upon a star  
Makes no difference who you are  
Anything your heart desires  
Will come to you_

Sauli smiles shyly and raises his lips to Adam. "I have everything my heart desires right here."

Adam closes the distance and they kiss for a few minutes before washing up and getting out.

* * *

Sauli laughs watching Sutan trying to pull the sword out of the stone.

"I want to try it." He runs over to the rock and pretends to pull it out. He flashes Adam a smile and Adam snaps a picture. Adam starts teasing him so he sticks his tongue out at him.

"Are you having fun?" Adam asks but Sauli can tell he's looking around for cameras.

"I would be if you would relax," Sauli says.

He watches Adam blink and look at him. "Sorry. I'm nervous."

"About what? That someone will get a picture of us. Do you really care?"

"No. I wouldn't take you here if I cared," Adam says pointedly.

"Then don't let it ruin your day. I mean, Adam, where at Disneyland," he squeals and he sees Adam smile and he feels like Superman. "Come on, let's go ride a rollercoaster." He grabs Adam's hand to tug him along.

"I know just the one." Adam says and he says something to their guide.

Sauli looks around, snapping pictures as they go. He wants to make sure to show his family when he gets home. They ride Big Thunder Mountain and Sauli laughs the whole time.

"My hair is probably all over the place," Sauli says after the ride is over.

"You don't have enough hair for that. However my hair is probably ten feet tall."

"It is long," Sauli says.

"Yeah. I need to cut it before the Grammys."

"It's windblown. Your face is too gorgeous to hide behind a curtain of hair. And those eyes are the most beautiful thing in the world. It's a shame to have anything in the way to distract from your natural beauty."

Sauli can tell he's stunned Adam and then Adam gives him the most amazing smile that lights up his eyes. "You're smile is gorgeous too," Sauli adds softly.

"You're pretty spectacular yourself," Adam responds.

They make their way around the park and Adam gets recognized as they are leaving. He signs a couple of autographs while Sauli stops to buy an outfit, towel and toy for his godson.

"I can't believe we're both Godfathers," Adam says when he sees what Sauli bought. They're walking to another section of the park.

"Another thing we have in common, although I was first," he teases.

"I can't wait to hold him. I've never held a newborn though so I'm a little nervous."

"I remember being upset that he was born while I was on show. I got to hold him when the show was done. I couldn't stop kissing him." Sauli smiles at the memory.

Adam leans over and gives Sauli a quick one armed hug.

* * *

They get back to Adam's and Sauli decides to take a nap. Adam feels a little bad because Sauli's sure to have jetlag and it's not like Adam's been letting him sleep much. He decides to surf the internet and sure enough he sees that Sauli's name is trending. Well, that didn't take long but at least he doesn't have to hide anymore. He makes a call to Cassidy to make sure he was able to get the tickets, and he's glad when Cassidy tells him it's a go. He wanted to take Sauli to see Cirque Bezerk. He thinks he'd really enjoy that. He hops into the shower and gets ready before making some calls to his friends about his party tomorrow night. His golden birthday, so close to thirty. He shudders at the thought. He calls Ferras to see if they want to join him when he takes Sauli out to dinner his last night in town.

"You want to take him to the Grand Havana Room? You know the paps will be crawling all over the place."

Adam closes his eyes. "I know. It's one of the reasons I want to take him there. I can 'introduce' him as my boyfriend that way."

"Wow. You are serious about him aren't you? You haven't been seen with a guy in public since Drake."

"I am very serious about him. He makes me happy and I'm not dating anyone else. Besides, I need to see how he will handle it. Maybe ease him into it gently."

He hears Ferras laugh. "Sauli? Honey, I don't think you have to worry about him with the paps. I have a feeling that boy can more than handle it."

Adam smiles because he thinks the same thing and it's nice to get confirmation. "Yeah, I think so too."

"I'll make the reservations. Did you see Perez already posted a picture of him and called him your boyfriend."

Adam groans. "Why am I not surprised?"

"At least he said Sauli was hot. Which he is."

"Yes, he is and he's all mine. Thanks Ferras. I really appreciate it. I'll see you tomorrow."

"Later."

Adam looks at the clock and sees it's almost six. He needs to wake up Sauli if they're going to make it on time. He heads upstairs and finds him snuggled under the blankets. Adam lays down next to him and places kisses on his face.

"Sauli, baby, wake up. I have a surprise for you."

He watches Sauli stretch but he doesn't open his eyes. Adam takes a minute to stare at him. He looks so peaceful and relaxed, actually not any different than when's awake. Sauli has the most amazing personality. He's so laid back and seems to always make people around him happy. And his laugh. It's contagious and you can't help laughing back even when you have no idea what he's talking about.

Adam has it bad. Or maybe it's good because it doesn't feel bad. It feels right. And perfect. He was hoping to meet someone after his tour was done. Someone he could take the time to date, instead of having one night stands all the time. Not that they weren't fun and a necessity when he was on the road but he couldn't be himself with those guys. He can't let his guard down and talk about serious issues or just act goofy when he wanted to. He always had this wall up. But with Sauli, there is no wall. Not anymore. If people could have seen how silly they were last night dancing around his house, making up silly moves, Sauli singing at the top of his lungs, they'd think he lost his mind. It was one of the best and most relaxed evenings he's had in a long time.

He hugs Sauli close and kisses his lips softly. "Honey, you need to wake up. I have a surprise for you."

He watches Sauli's eyes flutter open. "Hmmm. I could get used to waking up to you kissing me."

"Soon, baby." Adam says and kisses him again. Sauli's company agreed to Adam's suggestion and Katri is beyond excited to come to the states for a few weeks.

"I feel like you can see into my soul when you look at me that way."

Adam lays his forehead against Sauli's. "I get the same feeling when I look into yours."

Sauli pulls Adam's head down and kisses him deeply. His hand reaches down to stroke Adam over his jeans and before Adam knows it, Sauli has his pants undone and his hand is touching skin.

"We're going to be late," Adam says on a sigh.

"It'll be worth it," Sauli whispers back, his hands pulling Adam's shirt off. His fingers trail down to pinch Adam's nipples and Adam rolls onto this back.

Adam stares into Sauli's eyes while Sauli strokes him. He can feel the Sauli's erection against his thigh and quickly strips off Sauli's shorts.

"I guess we can be fashionably late."

He wakes up the following morning. It's his birthday and best of all he gets to spend it with Sauli. Adam smiles when he thinks about last night.  They had a great time out and even took pictures with the cast.  Then they spent half the night making love when they got home.  It's amazing how compatible they are sexually. 

"Sauli, where are you? It's my birthday. I'm supposed to wake up with my dick in your mouth," he yells out and giggles.

"One second," he hears Sauli yell back.

Adam lays his hands behind his head and waits, impatiently, for Sauli to appear and when he does Adam's heart skips a beat. "You made me breakfast in bed," he says with wonder when he sees the tray. "Where did you find the rose?"

"Shhh. I stole it from next door," Sauli says. He lays the tray over Adam's lap and gives him a kiss. "Happy Birthday Adam."

"Thank you."

Sauli stabs a fork into the pile of pancakes. "Open up," he whispers.

It's pancakes and the scale will probably groan at him later but Sauli looks so sexy, sitting there without a shirt, holding the food he made for him that Adam really doesn't give a shit about the carbs. He opens his mouth and closes it on the fork, slowly sliding his mouth off. He closes his eyes and chews. When he opens them, he sees desire etched on Sauli's face.

Eating breakfast turns out to be one long session of foreplay, followed by one hot, intense sex session. They're covered in sweat and breathing erratically half an hour later.

"Maple syrup flavored semen might be my favorite food," Adam says chuckling.

Sauli laughs.  "Well, I'm a sticky mess and I'm sure your sheets are ruined."

Sauli is lying on his stomach, his arms and legs stretched wide, wearing a grin big enough to split his face. Adam doesn't think he cares all that much about his sheets. 

"You look completely fucked out right now," Adam tells him.

"I have an insatiable boyfriend." Sauli winks at him and Adam leans down to kiss his ass.

"That's because he thinks you're so damn sexy."

"Hmmm," Sauli says and he rolls over on his side and props his head on his hand. "What's on the agenda for today?"

"I'm taking you shopping. Oh, and heads up, word is out about you. There's pictures of us out yesterday. I should have told you last night but I didn't want to ruin our evening."

"Why would that ruin our evening? Adam, it's just pictures. I'm not going to go running every time someone snaps us together."

"You know, I'm beginning to believe that."

Sauli smiles and leans over to kiss his lips. "Good. Now let's shower. I'm ready to spend money."

"Sounds like a plan."

* * *

Sauli walks behind Adam into the party. He's a little nervous to meet Adam's parents and some of his friends he's yet to meet. Everyone seems to be very nice and he hasn't felt strange around anyone, but still, he knows Adam takes his friend's opinions very seriously. He holds his arm out for Alison. He already really likes her and he can see how close she and Adam are. The cameras are snapping pictures left and right but they seem to ignore him so hopefully that will keep Adam relaxed.

Adam is quickly stolen by his friends and he decides to take a moment with Alison. "Alison. Can I ask you a question?" Sauli asks when they get inside.

"Sure," she answers.

"Why is Adam so worried about us being seen together?"

"He didn't explain?" Alison asks.

"He said it's because some guys couldn't handle the spotlight. Is that really all there is to it?"

"Pretty much," Alison says as they walk to the bar. "I probably shouldn't betray confidences but he adores you and I can see why. Did you see the glow on his face? He hasn't had that in a really, really long time. And it's because of you."

Sauli bites his bottom lip and looks across the room at Adam. Adam happens to catch his eye and blows him a kiss. Sauli smiles and returns it.

"I see he has the same effect on you," she says and it brings Sauli back to the present.

"What?" he asks confused.

"I see you glow too," she teases and Sauli can feel himself blushing.

"Yes," Sauli answers simply. He's pretty sure everything he feels for Adam shows.

"He'll be fine. He's just worried the attention and the meddling into your life that comes with being his boyfriend will scare you off."

"I told him I wasn't going anywhere." Sauli takes his drink and sips it.

"Good. Keep telling him that. He needs to hear it. Now, let's go get that handsome boyfriend of yours."

Later, Sauli is sitting at a table near the bar sipping his drink. Adam's been keeping him busy, dancing and introducing him to everyone. He takes another sip and watches everyone joking around in the photo center. He figures Adam probably wants his attendance there to remain a private thing and he's fine with that. The only thing he cares about is getting to spend Adam's birthday with him.  Besides, they've been taking their own pictures so it's not like he won't have any of them together.  

He takes a drink and smiles as he looks around.  He's having a wonderful time. He wasn't surprised to find Adam's parents are super nice and really friendly. Adam's relationship with them reminds him of his own relationship with his parents. He laughs when he sees Isaac putting on the crazy props. That guy is crazy, but in a good way. Actually, everyone Adam surrounds himself with are pretty amazing. He can see why Adam is as grounded as he is.

Adam returns from the bathroom and Sauli can't stop the feeling of want that shoots through his blood. He grabs the edge of his jacket when Adam is close enough and pulls him in for a passionate kiss.

"Adam," Allison yells and they both look over to see her at the photo booth.  She motions for Adam to join her.

"Come on baby," Adam says, starting to pull Sauli's hands with him.

"You go ahead. I'm going to sit for bit and have my drink."

"You're sure?" Adam asks and Sauli pushes him away.

"Yes I'm sure. Go have fun."

Sauli watches Adam walk away. Whatever he has to do to get Adam to trust him he'll do because it's no use trying to hide the fact he is totally head-over-heels in love with him.

* * *

Adam laughs at all his friends and their antics. The photo booth was a great idea. He can't wait to see all the pictures. He looks over at Sauli and sees him talking to his mother. He looks tired. Adam should have let him nap longer. Adam glances around and it hits him that he hasn't seen Sauli over here. Not once tonight.  This is exactly something he would love to do so why isn't he over here making goofy faces?

Then it hits him. It's because of him. Adam's been so freaked out about appearances it's making Sauli act out of character. He doesn't want a Sauli who's always on guard. He wants the Sauli who's silly and funny.

He walks over and puts his hand under his chin, forcing him to look at him. Adam leans down and kisses him.

"Let's go have fun," Adam says and he pulls on Sauli's hands.

"Adam, I'm talking with your mother," Sauli answers but he's letting himself be pulled out of the chair.

"We can talk later," she says and winks.

"Why aren't you at the picture booth?"

Sauli doesn't answer, he just shrugs.

"Sauli. I'm sorry if my insecurities are the reason.  I don't want to you feel like you can't be yourself.  Come on, let's go have fun." Adam says.

Sauli flashes him the most brilliant smile. "Okay."

Adam can tell Sauli is holding back a little but at least he's there, making some faces and laughing. Maybe he's just tired, or maybe Adam is reading too much into it.

Later that night, they're lying in bed spoon style, sated and sleepy. Adam's fingers are entwined with Sauli's. and Adam is placing soft kisses along Sauli's neck. Sauli turns over and stares at Adam. Adam can tell there's something on his mind and he braces himself for bad news. He was expecting it and figured it would happen sooner or later. Sauli would realize he couldn't deal with the cameras following them, or the invasion of his privacy or Adam's neurosis over it. One thing he knows is Sauli likes to keep his life as private as possible. Something that is just not possible if he's with Adam.

"I love you Adam." Sauli says instead. "I never expected to find someone like you. Not in a million years. I didn't realize how lonely I was until you came into my life. Now, I can't stop smiling and thinking about you. I've never been happier."

Adam stares into Sauli's eyes and sees so much emotion in them. He always preached how you couldn't find love in a bar and yet, that's exactly where he met Sauli. It's ironic.

Adam rubs his hand over Sauli's head and he watches him sigh and close his eyes briefly.

Adam tries to put what he's feeling into words. "I love you too," Adam returns and he watches Sauli's little smile. "I feel like I can be myself when I'm with you. I don't need to impress you. I could wear my oldest sweats and you'll still find me attractive. I can have my insecurities and you understand. You give me space when I need it. You're the only man I've met who doesn't pretend to be something they aren't. You're just you and too bad if anyone doesn't like it. I admire that so damn much."

Adam hugs him tight, burying his face in his neck. He loves him so much he feels like he could explode from all the feelings Sauli stirs in him. He pulls back to see Sauli's eyes are moist and he cups his face. They kiss and hold each other tight. Whatever lingering doubts and fears fly away.

"Can you take some time off after the Grammys? I got a free trip to Bora Bora and I'd like to take you there. Just the two of us in the most romantic place on earth."

"I'd love to go," Sauli grins and he moves them until Adam is lying on his back and he's straddling Adam's legs. Adam runs his hands up Sauli's thighs and sides and stares into his face. He feels free and hopeful.

"But you should know," Sauli says, lowering his head to an inch before Adam's face. Adam's heart speeds up. "Wherever you are is the most romantic place on earth."

* * *

Sauli steps out of the shower and dries off. He wraps a towel around his waist before he walks into the bedroom. "You picked out my clothes?" he asks when he sees the bed.

"Yeah. I have this thing about dressing people."

"And underssing them," Sauli snaps back with a wink. Sauli removes the towel from around his waist.

"You don't mind?" Adam asks.

Sauli pulls on a pair of underwear and the shirt. "No. Besides, if you like what I'm wearing, which you will since you chose it, then I reap the benefits later."

Adam laughs. Sauli thinks he's never seen Adam as relaxed as he has the last couple of days. He doesn't seem as preoccupied or worried as he had been. It's too bad it's his last night in town but it's only for a week and then he'll be back. Bora Bora. Sauli can't wait. Sure it's a long trip but he'll be home for a while after that so he'll have plenty of time to regroup. Plus, he can't get the idea of some alone time with Adam on a tropical resort out of his mind. The beach, the sun, the stars. Sauli sighs and finishes getting dressed.

"You're awfully quiet," Adam says.

"Thinking about our trip," Sauli slips on the jeans. "Could these be any tighter?" He looks over at Adam and sees how tight and snug his pants are. "I guess they could." He hears Adam laugh.

Adam's friends pick them up and they head out, laughing and joking the whole way. Dinner was marvelous and Sauli's surprised when he feels Adam's hand reach out to hold his under the table. It's the first time Adam's touched him like this in public since he's been in America.  They touched like this in Paris all the time but Adam wasn't known there like he is here.  Sauli doesn't care and he doesn't take it personally.   He looks over at Adam and smiles and squeezes his hand.

They go to leave and Sauli hesitates for a minute when he sees the cameras outside. He starts to take a few steps away from Adam, putting some space between them when Adam surprises him again, for the second time.

"Take my arm," he says and Sauli looks up and sees how confident and sure Adam is about this.  
   
This is a huge step for him and he knows Adam wants to make a statement to the public.  But, it's a bigger statement to Sauli privately because it means Adam fully trusts him.  He wouldn't do this otherwise. He puts his hand through Adam's arm and Adam looks at him in a way that curls his toes.

When the paps see them walking arm in arm the flashes go off but there's not a lot of them there and Sauli could care less.  Adam makes small talk with them and Sauli watches them, amused at how they try to walk backwards, snapping away, afraid they will miss something.  He wonders how much he'd laugh if one of them fell backwards.  Sauli puts his hands in his pockets when they get to the car and he laughs at a joke Ferras made.

He can feel Adam's hand on his back when he climbs inside and he holds on to Adam's arm when he sits down next to him.   They're all joking and laughing at how crazy they can be. 

Sauli catches Ferras looking at him intently. "What?" Sauli asks.

"Nothing. You seemed to take it all in stride," Ferras says.

"I've had my picture taken before. Except before I got paid for it," Sauli jokes and everyone laughs.

"Still, not everyone can handle it," Ferras continues.

"I guess I'm not like everyone else," Sauli responds and he sees Ferras smile.

"No, you aren't."

They get home and Adam heads upstairs while Sauli grabs a drink of water first. He decides to bring one up to Adam. He's on the stairs when he hears Adam yell out.

"Sauli, where are you? I'm naked already."

Sauli laughs at the idea that just came to him. He puts the bottles down and strips off his jacket and lays it on the stair. "I'll be right there," he yells back.

Then he strips off his shirt leaving it on floor at the bottom of the stairs. His jeans come off in the entryway to the kitchen. His socks and underwear come off by the living room door.

"Come find me," he yells out.

"No. You come find me." Adam yells back.

"I know where you are. You however don't know where I am. Or that I'm naked waiting for you." 

Sauli quickly hides behind the curtain, next to the bookcase.  He figures that would work and sure enough he can hear Adam climbing down the stairs.

"Sauli, you little tease. You're going to pay," Adam yells.

Sauli covers his mouth with his hand, afraid of giving anything away. He hears Adam walking around in the hall and he knows when he discovers a new piece of clothing because Adam announces it.  Anticipation runs through his veins as he waits for Adam.

He hears Adam entering the room before exiting again to go down the hall. Sauli sneaks out from his hidiing place and tiptoes to the door.  He peeks around the corner and steps in the hall when he sees Adam at the other end.

"You aren't very good at hide and seek," he says and he watches Adam turn around. He's carrying all of his clothes but he drops them when he sees Sauli. He starts stalking towards him and Sauli squeals and turns around to run away. He heads to the dining room and stands on the other side of the table. They're both laughing.

"I'm going to catch you eventually you know," Adam says. He feigns left and goes right.

"Only when I'm ready for you to catch me," Sauli teases back. He jumps in surprise when Adam climbs on the table and he quickly runs out and down the hall. He's laughing as he watches Adam stand at the other end.

"Sauli, come here," Adam says, not moving from his spot. Sauli shakes his head and backs up. Adam crooks his finger and Sauli laughs.

"Make me," he teases. They're both standing there naked, running around the house, laughing out loud. Sauli feels fabulous.

Adam licks his palm and starts stroking himself and Sauli can't do anything but stare at him. He watches Adam's hand move up and down and he touches his own erection. He hears Adam catch his breath and Sauli gives up.

He runs to him, jumping in his arms when he reaches him. "You play dirty," he says before his lips crash against Adam's.

* * *

The following morning they're looking at pictures and video of them last night.  "You didn't need to do that for my benefit you know," he says.  He notices one particular picture.  "Wow."

"What?" Adam asks.

"The way you're looking at me in this picture." Sauli says softly.

"I was proud of you and was feeling so much love for you."

" I guess that's one benefit to having these camera people around," he jokes. 

Adam laughs and hugs Sauli tight.

"Honestly, Adam. I don't need reassurance out in public. I know how you feel about me."

Adam looks at Sauli and sits him on his lap. "I did it because I want the world to know we're together." Adam shrugs. "I want to show you off."

"I'm going to miss you so much," Sauli says.

Adam can feel his eyes getting moist. "Me too. More than you know. But I'll be thinking about you."

"You'll be too busy to think about little old me," Sauli teases.

"That's what you think."

Adam takes his bracelet off and places it on Sauli.  "Whenever you see this you can think of me and know I'm with you."

The car arrives to pick up Sauli and it feels like his heart is going to break. "I love you Sauli," Adam says.

"I love you too," Sauli answers and they kiss some more.

"Until next time," Sauli says and he leaves quickly. Adam's grateful because he couldn't take a long good-bye. He watches the car leave and he climbs upstairs to their bed. He hugs Sauli's pillow close to him and inhales his scent.

He thinks about the past year, about everything he's been through and how lonely he's been. Then he thinks about Sauli. Adam always believed everything in life happens for a reason. He stares the picture of them kissing at his birthday party and he smiles.

It doesn't matter where Sauli is physically because he'll always be with Adam, in his heart, where it counts.

 


End file.
